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    BATTLE OF THE SEXES: JOKES HOME PAGE BATTLE OF THE SEXES FIRST PAGE

ARE YOU A MANLY MAN ?
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Are you a manly man?

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
  a) lovemaking
  b) screwing
  c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
  a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
  b) your blood-test results
  c) five tequlia slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:
  a) your partner climaxes first
  b) you both climax simultaneously
  c) you don't miss SportsCenter

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
  a) healthy, creative love-play
  b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
  c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just has sex with is:
  a) the best part of the experience
  b) the second best part of the experience
  c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
  a) no concern of yours
  b) not a problem, she can join your gym.
  c) a conservative estimate

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
  a) a myth
  b) an oxymoron
  c) a moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
  a) appetizer is to entree
  b) primer is to paint
  c) a line is to an amusement park ride

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship
  a) "I hope we can still be friends
  b) "i'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep"
  c) "Welcome to dumpsville; population YOU"

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
  a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
  b) is uptight and a waste of time
  c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

Evaluating the results:

If you answered "a" more than 7 times: Check your pants to see if you really are a man
If you answered "b" more than 7 times: Check into therapy, you're a little confused
If you answered "c" more than 7 times: "YOU DA MAN!"



 

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