BLONDES AND MATCHES
Once there was a blonde with a pack of matches, she took one match it didn't light so she threw it away. She took a second match it didn't light so she threw that away too. She took a third match, it lit, she blew it out and put it in her pocket and said, "This one is good I better keep it."

BLONDES AND TREES
A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back
road and approaches the blonde driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"

The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"

Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

BLONDES AT A HORSE SHOW
Two blondes go to a horse auction and buy the two finest there. So when they get them home they say, "How are we gonna tell them apart?" The other one said "We'll put a notch in one of their ears."

So the next day they come back and both horses have a notch in their ears in the same place. So now they put a ribbon on one horse's tail. So the next day they came back and the ribbon had fallen off. So now they cut off the tail on one of the horses. So they came back the next day and both the horses were missing a tail. So the one blonde said, "You take the white one and I'll take the black one."

BLONDES AT THE CASINO
Two blonde gals went together to play the slot machines at the casino.  Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait for the other.

Trixie quickly lost all her money and went to sit on the bench.  She waited and waited.  After what seemed an eternity, she finally saw Patty coming toward her, carrying this huge sack of coins.

"Hey, Trixie," said Patty, "how'd you do?"

"Not very good," came the reply.  "I've been waiting here for hours."

"You should have been with me . . . did I ever find a good machine!  It's way in the back.  Come!  I'll show it to you . . . you can't lose!  Every time you put a dollar in, you win four quarters!"

BLONDES FISHING
Three Blondes went fishing and they were not having the best of luck. They stayed there for fourteen hours and did not catch a thing.

They saw three brunettes  fishing just down the shore and they were hauling in fish after fish. At least three fish an hour.

So the blondes decide that they should go spy on the brunettes. They can't all go because they don't want to leave there equipment alone. So one of the blondes volunteers.

She sneeks quietly down the bank and watches the brunettes pull in fish after fish after fish. She finally realizes what the brunettes are doing differently.

She excitedly runs back to her friends and exclaims " You guys, they actually cut a hole in the ice"