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Q: How come Mike Tyson's eyes always water during sex?††††
A: Mace

Q: Why did the monkey paint his balls red?
A: To hide in a cherry tree†††††††

Q: What is the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: An elephant eating cherries

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.

Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick."

Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

Q: Are birth control pills deductible?
A: Only if they don't work.

Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.

Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.

Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A: A cock that stays up all night.

Q: Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day.† What do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday

Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.

Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine

Q: Did you hear that Viagra now comes in a nasal spray?
A: Itís for dickheads.

Q: Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
A: Because when he tried to make a second one he made a boo-boo.

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: How do you get fifty old ladies to say the word "Fuck" all at the same time?
A: Have another one yell "Bingo!"

Q: How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
A: Three - one to eat the possum and two to watch for cars.

Q: What's white and 10 inches long?
A: Nothing.

Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: It gives them better grip on their broomstick.


 

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