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Q: What do call a cow with three legs
A: Lean beef

Q: What do you call a napping bull?
A: Bulldozer

Q: Why don't cows like the new round bales of hay?
A: They don't get a square meal

Q: What do you call a cow with only two front legs?
A: An udder drag

Q: How many cowboys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 
A: One if he isn't wearing feet and hand restraints!

Q: How do you know if a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

Q: How many Deadheads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None.  They just follow it around for 30 years thinking it's still lit.

Q: How many stoners does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 20.  One to hold the bulb, and 19 to huff until the room spins.

Q: How many stoners does it take to tell a good joke?
A: Um... I forgot.

Q: What's the difference between brown nosers and ass kissers?
A: Depth perception.

Q: What is the difference between "sexy" and "kinky"?
A: To use a feather in lovemaking is sexy.  Kinky is using the whole chicken.

Q: How are a light bulb and a pregnant woman different?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb!

Q: What does a vagina have in common with a TV dinner?
A: Preparation instructions.  For either, you just "Heat & Eat!"

Q: What's the definition of disgusting??
A: Siamese twins, joined by the mouth and one throwing up.

Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A: Beat it, we're closed.

Q:  Why do dogs lick their balls?
A: Because they can't make a fist.

Q: What do women and dog doo have in common?
A: The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Q: What did the little boy say when his dog jumped off the cliff?
A: Dog Gone!

Q: How far can a dog run into the woods?
A: Half way because the rest of the way he is running out!

Q: How far can a dog run into the woods?
A: Half way because the rest of the way he is running out!

Q: Why does the Easter bunny hide her eggs?
A: She doesn't want people to know she had sex with a chicken.


 

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