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SUGGESTIVE SEX JOKES
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$5 Twinkie
A man and his wife were having sex, and when they finished he threw the condom out the window. The wife instantly yelled at him saying that a kid could find it.

The man went out looking for it but couldn't find it. Then, he saw a kid. He asked the kid if he might have found anything that belonged to him. The kid replied that he only found a Twinkie. The man offered $5 for the Twinkie.

When the kid returned home, his mom asked him where he got the money. He said, "I sold a Twinkie to a man, but the jokes on him, I sucked out the cream filling!"


10 Shots
This guy sits down at a bar and says to the Bartender, "Give me 10 shots of Tequila. Just line 'em up right here!"

The Bartender looks at him and says, "Man, that's a lot of Tequila, can I ask why you want so many shots?"

The guy replies, "I just had my first blow job!"

The Bartender says, "ALRIGHT! Tell you what, the eleventh ones on me!"

The guy says, "Naw, if ten shots of Tequila donít get the taste outta my mouth, nothing will!"


100 and 1
There is an ongoing conference on sex education in a jam-packed 400-seat auditorium. The current lecturer is addressing the standing-room-only audience on the various ways of making love. He says, "Before I begin, I would like to know from you the audience how many lovemaking positions there are. Let's start with the gentleman in the front row. You, sir, and how many positions do you know of?"

The man clears his throat and says in a low voice, "Around seven."

"Hmm... okay," says the lecturer. "Anyone else?"

Then a loud voice from the back of the audience booms, "One hundred and one!"

Since the lecturer cannot see who has made that remark, he lets it pass and turns to the man on the third row. "You sir, the one with the glasses in the third row. How many positions do you know of?"

The bespectacled man fidgets a bit and says abruptly, "Eleven."

"That's interesting," comments the lecturer. Then the same loud voice calls out, "One hundred and one!"

Still the lecturer ignores the persistent kibitzer as he turns his attention on a blonde girl in the second row. He says, "Young lady, how many positions do you know of?"

The girl hesitates a bit but the lecturer gently encourages her until she says in a small voice, "One."

"Only one? I find that a bit strange. And what is that?"

"Man on top of woman," says the uneasy girl. This time the same loud voice hollers, "One Hundred and Two!"

2 Boys Talking
Funny boy: Hey, do you know what the girl said to her boyfriend, when he asked her, if he could sleep with her?

Annoyed boy: No

Funny boy: Right!! Do you know what the girl said when her boyfriend asked her, if he could sleep with her?

Annoyed boy: Not again

Funny boy: Right!!! Do you know what the girl said to her boyfriend, when he asked if he could sleep with her?

Annoyed boy: Hey, this is the third time! It's enough now! Leave me alone!

Funny boy: Right!!!!



 

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