Mega Novice #1

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change.  When the

clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the

clerk promptly provided.  The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. 

How much total cash did he get from the drawer?  $15.

(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?)


Mega Novice #2

A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun.  Aiming his gun at the

guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F*CK-UP!" 


For a moment, everyone was silent.  Then the snickers started.  The guard completely lost it and doubled

over laughing.  It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun.  He couldn't have drawn

and fired before the thief got him.  The thief ran away and is still at large. 


In memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a

f*ck-up!"


Mega Novice #3

Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer rather badly.  He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block

through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.  So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over

his head at the window.  The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking

him unconscious.  Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.  The whole event was caught on

videotape…