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Is she fun?
After Steve Irwin -- the Crocodile Hunter -- died, his wife Terri was interviewed on TV. She was crying a lot. The interviewer asked her, “What was it that made Steve the special person he was?” And I was struck by the simplicity of her response: “Steve was so much fun. He was so much fun to be with.” Then she broke down again.
There it is: The great priority and ultimate aphrodisiac in life is having fun. It’s what keeps a relationship together. Did you forget what fun is? After all, with the breakup and the dividing of things, “fun” may be a distant memory. If so, try asking your kids; they definitely know what fun is. That’s why, whenever you ask them what they’re doing, their one-word reply is always “playing.”
That being said, when you’re meeting potential new partners, it is crucial you ask yourself, “Is this woman a fun person to be with?” Because if you’re just interested in a woman because she’s the sexy, stern librarian-type, but she has no idea what fun is, she may not be the one for you or your children.
Are her friends child-friendly?
So let’s say you’re on date No. 2 with Sue. Sure, you didn’t laugh much on the first date or find much in common with her, but you don't care: Sue has great breasts. Sue suggests that “it’s time you met my friends,” so she arranges for the both of you to visit them this coming Saturday.
Sue also suggests that she pick you up so you don’t have to worry about driving. She pulls up in her rusty 1978 Ford Pinto, a car you would never dare to place your child in.
You climb in and after 20 minutes of agonizing silence, it begins to dawn on you that not having anything to talk about is really bad.
Is she patient?
You’re sitting together having a wonderful, intimate conversation, sipping on a latte, completely oblivious of the world around you. And then it starts: The child three tables away from you two lovebirds starts talking loudly and everything sexy comes to a stop. Sure, the child having an animated conversation with herself is not a problem for you -- just like you know you can’t change anyone, you can’t stop a child from being a child. But quickly now, you look over at your date and get a sense of her reaction to the interruption. What? There’s a frown on her face? Not good. She’ll frown at your kids for the same reason when they dare to take time away from her.
Is she childlike?
So, it’s date No. 2 with Margaret. You know, the date that followed your first get-together during which a chemical explosion took place on your shirt when the waiter placed the chow mein in front of you.
Margaret suggests going to the Maple Sugar Festival that is taking place at Kane Conservation Park. “Wow,” you say to yourself, because that’s where you regularly take your daughter. So you go and have a childlike blast together.
And you know what the best part was? The moment your date spilled her maple syrup all over the front of her shirt and laughed her head off -- just like your daughter did all those years ago. Except, this time it’s sexy. This time it’s a turn-on.
We all have an inner-child in us, lots of us have forgotten that, but the right woman for you hasn’t.
Is her body a temple?
One thing being a single dad does is remind you of your mortality. It’s that “passing-of-the-torch” thing, I suppose. So, in the end, you’re careful about what you eat. You read the ingredients on the side of the box and drink lots of water. You’re not only doing this for you, you’re doing this for your children because you want to be strong and healthy for them.
So if your body is your temple, but your date keeps suggesting a restaurant that specializes in bright red chairs, sharp tables and waitresses that keep their pens behind their ears, it’s not a good sign. After all, if you decide to test the family thing by breaking bread together with her and your children, you won’t want to cringe when you do.
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