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	INTRODUCING HER TO YOUR KIDS

Can you be utterly, absolutely honest with your new girlfriend?

If you can be completely honest with her almost from the onset, you have a great foundation from which to build upon. When you open your brutally honest mouth to say anything that you consider truthful, how does she respond? For example, suppose you make a comment about her ravenous eating habits by saying something like, "Wow, you really inhaled that meal! Hope it doesn't go straight to your ass!" and she can laughingly brush it off and retort, "You're a real piece of work, you know that? I hope all that beer doesn't get in the way of your satisfying me all night!" -- and the only effect of the exchange is a mutual collapse into fits of laughter. That’s healthy banter and a very good thing. Can you ask or tell her anything without worrying about repercussions or are you walking on eggshells when you say something that for you comes naturally? You need to make sure your relationship is strong enough to withstand honesty, because with honesty comes trust.

How well do you talk together?

Can you go back and forth effortlessly, interweaving thoughts and ideas, laughing with ease, and trading riffs like Lennon and Harrison did on the final bars of Abbey Road? More importantly, how comfortable are you with silences and breaks in conversation? If you’re in a room together and you’re both reading books in silence, how comfortable are you in that silence? There’s no need to be talking each other’s ears off all the time, silence is necessary and a pleasant break for you both. If you’re comfortable in this muted exchange, that’s excellent.

Do you listen well together?

Forget about the talking, is your love interest a great listener? When you talk, is her ear really tuned in to what you're saying? Because if she doesn’t care about what you have to say, she sure isn’t going to care about how you feel. And remember: Listening is a quid pro quo. If you’re not listening to her when she talks and would rather turn on the internet to check out Girls Gone Wild, that’s not a good sign.

Do you laugh well together?

Laughter is the greatest aphrodisiac, make no mistake. Laughter is a reality that gives you the soul-based permission to become lovers. Laughing together means that post-orgasm you still have something else magnificent to look forward to, a great laugh together. And you know what else? When you and your love interest do anything together with your children and you’re laughing, your child will find great joy in laughing along with you. This will not only help your relationship bond, but the bond between your love interest and your children.

Are you truly friends?

Love is friendship on fire. Is this a person you want to do things with as a friend? Can you do the same things with your partner that you would do with your other friends, like travel, camp, play games, and socialize? Because if you’re in the genesis of the hot-and-steamy phase, it’s easy to mistake the lust-filled big bang with real long-term potential. The hot-and-heavy phase is nature’s influence and has nothing to do with the lively dialogue that will happen years from when you’re discussing whose turn it is to take out the compost or clean the cat’s litter box. Become friends first, then introduce her to your children so all of you can work on a friendship together.

Do you kiss well?

You can hope that your relationship will survive even if you don’t kiss well. You may not put much emphasis on the importance of a kiss and think that somehow you can sublimate the disappointment and find solace in other qualities. Sure go ahead and think that, but you’re wrong. If she’s poking her tongue into your mouth and it doesn’t dance well with yours, there’s little hope. Think of a kiss as an extension of your emotions and how you truly feel about one another. Your smooches should be electrifying no matter how quick or how long they are.

What happens when you walk together?

After you’ve taken a walk on the wild side with your woman in bed, how do you stroll together out of bed? Does she pop into too many stores while you prefer to remain outside in wide-open spaces? Is she aware of your presence or do you feel you might as well have stayed in bed because she’s not noticing you out of bed? Do you find that chatter comes easily because you’re both getting the same kick out of the things you see and feel around you? These are important questions and could mean the relationship isn’t everything it should be outside the bedroom.

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