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BALANCING PARENTHOOD AND SINGLE LIFE |
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Playtime with your child
It doesn’t matter what country they live in or what their mother tongue is, all children speak one universal language: the language of “Play.” And without exception, there is no better bonding activity than playing with your child. Whether you’re on the floor building something with your 3-year-old daughter or tossing around the baseball with your 16-year-old son, playing with your child is the ultimate expression of love and intimacy. With every moment of play you are saying to your child, “I love you so much I just want to revel in the exact same language you speak.”
Playtime with your gal
When it comes to romantic relationships, I’m a big proponent of the word “fun,” because without fun, you know what your relationship is? It’s nothing. So whether you’re simply walking along some hidden forest trail or taking a road trip down Highway 61 with bitter coffee and glazed doughnuts in-hand, remember to always make “fun” your final destination.
Work life and your child
You are the great single dad who takes his responsibilities as a provider very seriously. And you are a definite proponent of the great Italian family modus operandi that it’s a man’s job to put bread on the table. I love that expression, for me it justifies every moment of my working life.
As a Renaissance man and single father, you are aware that your child is waiting in the front of the house for you to pick her up. To you it’s unthinkable to ever say, “Honey, I can’t come pick you up because daddy’s working.”
You understand that her expectations for the men she invites into her life will be built upon the type of man you present to her. If she doesn’t expect that you’ll come through for her at this point, she will likely let idiots into her life later on, because she won’t know any different.
Yes, working hard is the essence behind putting food on the table, but you have to know when to turn off the computer and turn to your child.
Work life and your love life
For women, the “nest” is everything. And it's time to understand that no matter what you do or what you say, the woman you are involved with is condensing it down to one question, “How will what he's saying or doing impact the nest that I've built or one day plan to have?”
Whether it’s about how you live, what car you drive, what food you enjoy or how you relate to other people, it’s always about the nest. Remember that, and you’ll always understand a woman’s motivations.
At the same time, she will also need your undivided attention when it comes to your dating life, which, for all intents and purposes, means listening. And so therein is the great conundrum: When do you focus on working to build her a nest and when do you turn off everything business in order to simply listen to her? The answer to this question depends on the woman you are dating, so do your best to gauge what she wants and when she wants it.
Nurturing your child
While he was growing up, I ended every night with my son in the same way: By saying, “Noah, daddy loves you.” Then, I'd kiss his forehead and as I exited his doorway, I turned back and said directly to him, “If you need me, you know where I am.” I played out this traditional goodnight for 15 consecutive years because I wanted my son to know that he was loved deeply before his day ended.
I needed him to know that I would never be far away. Single-parent guilt? Perhaps. But mostly I wanted him to know that I thought he was the most important person in the world and I wanted him to wake up the next day believing the same thing. It’s called liking yourself, and it's the first step on your child’s road to success in love and work.
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