Your relationship has run its course and you are ready to go your separate ways. But as much as you’d like to make a clean break, you are too spineless to actually sit her down and have “the talk.”

Ironically, men and women suffer the same affliction in the breakup department: cowardice. Yes, both men and women often wait out a relationship, hoping the other party will do the deed and end it officially. So, for the man who wants out but is too much of a coward to do it himself, I have devised a step-by-step approach to accelerate the process of, well, getting dumped.

Below are six things that really drive us women mad. You can take them in the order they are arranged, or you can pick and choose what tactics you think would be most effective in your particular situation. These six things annoy us so much that, truth be told, as you proceed through the steps, she will progressively tire of you and likely can your ass before you can even hit the sixth. So if you want to get dumped quickly (though I can’t guarantee painlessly), read on.

Step 1- Be ultra-noncommittal
If you can’t make or keep firm plans with her, she’ll know something is up. Most women know that when a man is interested, he wants to spend time with her; so when she sees you’re wavering about dinner two hours beforehand, or canceling at the last minute, she’ll be on to you. Doing this consistently is both rude and a strong statement that you’re not that into her -- but I guess that’s what you’re going for here.

Step 2- Be depressing
If you stop using your clever sense of humor and wit, going out together will become increasingly boring for the both of you. From her perspective, if she enjoys your time together less, in turn, her interest in you may start to wane. She probably won’t break up with you over this alone, but it’s certainly a step in that direction.

Step 3- Stop being affectionate
You can’t have your cake and eat it too, so if you are trying to keep her at arm’s length, it’s only fair to stop being intimate. In addition, if you discontinue all signs of affection like holding hands, kissing and touching her waist, she’ll feel your cold shoulder.

Step 4- Be inconsiderate
You not only forget her birthday, your anniversary and other important dates, but you also show indifference about making plans for these occasions at all. You are generally thoughtless: You forget to call her back promptly, never pick her up and make her take a taxi home -- these are all strong messages that you don’t take your relationship seriously.

Step 5- Tell her you don't believe in marriage
This should put some of the final nails in your coffin. Of course, not every woman necessarily wants to get married, but a blatant statement like this will let her know that you’re not serious about a future together. This is more than a hint -- and she’ll get it.

Step 6- Disagree, all the time, about everything
When she wants Chinese food, you want Italian. If she’s on the political right, you’re on the left. Your unwavering opposition will be tiring to her, and within no time, she should be annoyed enough to send you packing.

Breaking up is hard to do
Before you implement the above steps, do consider the alternative: You can sit her down, and politely tell her that you’d like to go your separate ways, saving both of you the time and aggravation. But for all you weasels out there (you know who you are), if you follow the above steps, chances are that she’ll throw your cowardly self out the door before you even get to step number six.