Water Cooler Topic #3
Withering marriage
Oscar-winning actress Reese Witherspoon and her husband Ryan Phillippe released a statement last week that they were separating. The decision came after it became public knowledge that Ryan was cheating on his wife with actress Abbie Cornish on the set of Stop Loss. Reportedly, Reese discovered rather intimate e-mail messages between Ryan and Abbie, and was left with no other recourse but to end the relationship.

Adam’s take: The defining moment of this doomed fairy-tale marriage had to be Ryan Phillippe’s drunken performance at the 2006 Academy Awards: He was obnoxious and loud and slapped his wife on the back when she went up to receive her Oscar. Clearly, being a plastered mess at your wife’s crowning moment is an obvious cry for help and a sure-fire sign that the guy is ready to take a shot at Jessica Simpson… if he hasn’t already.

Pete’s take: Ah, Reese is finally single? It’s time for me to hook up with her. We’d make a great couple: She’s good looking and Southern, whereas I’m out-of shape and from the North. She has a wonderful singing voice and played June Carter and I have a horrendous voice and adore Gary Carter. She was in Cruel Intentions and I have nothing but honest and good intentions. Call my agent if you’re interested Reese. I have no problem being the rebound guy. In past columns, this same entry, with slight edits, has been written for Lindsay Lohan, Meg Ryan, Jessica Simpson, and Nicole Alexander.

Water Cooler Topic #4
The Heat are cold
The 2006-07 NBA season kicked off on Halloween with the Miami Heat raising their NBA title banner against the Chicago Bulls. Possibly suffering from a championship hangover, the Heat were run out of the building 108-66. The 42-point loss was by far the worst season-opening defeat for a reigning NBA champion ever. The rest of the NBA tipped off the following night.

Adam’s take: There are so many things to get excited about with the start of this NBA season, but one player who is sort of falling through the cracks right now is Adam Morrison. Maybe the lack of attention on Morrison is because he’s in Charlotte, maybe it’s because of those incredible LeBron James Nike commercials or maybe it’s Mike Fratello’s hair that is demanding the spotlight. But it is only a matter of time before the man with the sweet jumper and wispy mustache catches our eye. The Bobcats might not be ready to compete for anything of note this year, but with such a likeable rookie as a featured player, I expect the Bobcats to become a fan-favorite. This prediction is contingent on the fact that Morrison avoids another on-court cry fest… leave that to Grey’s Anatomy.

Pete’s take: Here are four predictions for the upcoming NBA season:

1. Don Nelson brings a winning atmosphere back to Golden State.
2. The Heat crash and burn by March.
3. LeBron collects his first MVP award.
4. Kevin Garnett goes insane. You would go nuts too with Eddie Griffin, Mike James, Rashad     McCants, and Ricky Davis controlling the ball.

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