Fellas, the "Monday Morning Couch Potatoes" feel your pain. We understand that sometimes in life, you have to make sacrifices. We've all been there before. Spent Saturday night watching Gray Matters with the lady instead of at the bar with the boys? Picked the kids up from the dance recital instead of watching the big game? It's OK. It happens. That's where we come in.

At the start of every week, the "Monday Morning Couch Potatoes" (Peter Schrager and Adam Weinberg) will fill you in on the important things you missed while trying to pretend like you really care about all the other stuff in your life. Each Monday, you will wake up with an up-to-date summary of all the vital (and worthless) things you might have missed in the past week of
sports and entertainment.

These are the six stories that sparked our interest the most during the past week of sports, pop culture and entertainment. This article, and every one of its biweekly successors, will serve as a "cheat sheet" for the various conversations you will have with coworkers and friends over the upcoming week.

So get educated, then hit up the water cooler for some conversation with the boys from accounts receivable.

Water Cooler Topic #1
500 reasons to watch
In what was arguably the most controversial Daytona 500 finish since 1979, Kevin Harvick beat Mark Martin by 0.02 seconds. The event occurred under great controversy when earlier in the week five racers were docked for possible “cheating” allegations.

Adam’s take: After the incredible race this year, maybe we should start referring to the Super Bowl as the football version of the Dayton 500, instead of the other way around. When the last lap features cars on fire, spinning and flying upside down, as well as a furious photo finish, you have an instant classic. The incredible race helped make up for a controversial prerace week, in which five cars were reprimanded for breaking NASCAR rules. Rumor has it that one crew may have attempted to fit a car with nitro boosters, not unlike the ones made popular in the classic arcade game Ivan Stewart’s Super Off Road.

Pete’s take: I can’t lie. While this was underway on Sunday, I was watching a replay of the 1998 NBA All-Star Game on ESPN Classic. Michael Jordan was going head to head with Kobe, Mitch Richmond was hoisting three-pointers and Shaquille O’Neal was a young buck running the court like a gazelle. Most surprising, though, was Antoine Walker’s waist line; it was less than 42 inches. As for NASCAR, I didn’t see a second of it. A part of me thought I’d be too confused by the rules to grasp it. But after hearing Eli Manning was in attendance, all doubts were put to rest. If that guy can understand it, it must be a tremendously easy sport to follow.

Water Cooler Topic #2
Spats and the City
Alex Rodriguez made headlines last week, telling reporters that he and Derek Jeter aren’t as good of friends as they were 14 years ago. Rodriguez, who bashed Jeter in a 2001 Esquire article, has been a Yankee since 2004. New York has not won a pennant since he joined the roster.

Adam’s take: So Alex Rodriguez isn’t so fond of Derek Jeter anymore. Unfortunately for him, Jeter is the most revered sports figure in all of New York City, and if A-Rod didn’t feel alienated before, he will now. Nobody is going to deny that Rodriguez is an all-world talent, but if he doesn’t learn how to wield his words like he does his bat (in the regular season, of course) than he might end up like another metro all-star -- the anchorman himself -- Tiki Barber. Barber and his overplayed mouth have helped him to become the least-missed star the Big Apple has ever known; A-Rod could be next.

Pete’s take: I’m not exactly sure why this story qualifies as news, but A-Rod and Jeter’s friendship has New York captivated. It’s all kinda boring if you ask me: Two 30-year-old men talking about their feelings for each other? Blah. Does anyone actually care about what these two talk about on their own time? Could it be the slightest bit interesting? I’ll tell you what conversation that I would like to be present for as a fly on the wall: The next time Tim Hardaway and John Amaechi cross paths. I’m sure that one won’t be awkward. Nope, not at all.

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