Sex toys can be a touchy subject. Some guys are under the mistaken impression that if a vibrating penis is thrown into the mix of lovemaking, it means they're somehow inadequate lovers. This could not be further from the truth. Sex toys are used to enhance a couples' experience or for an interesting bedroom experiment, and are not simply limited to objects that you stick into a variety of orifices.

Now before you start tripping out, no, you won't be replaced by a mechanical penis. Ask any woman with a pulse, and she'll say that nothing compares to the loving (or aggressive) touch of a man. Now unless your woman has a hidden switch she pushes that can turn her room into a sado-masochist's haven, sex toys may be the perfect add-on to a great sexual relationship. So let's get educated on what's on the market for all the horny ladies and gentlemen out there.

I'm thinking of good vibrations
Now, I don't have to tell you that women can have two different kinds of orgasms. There's the "ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah" clitoral orgasms, and then there's the "holy sh*t, I'm coming" vaginal orgasms. And since supply and demand go hand in hand, there are vibrators ans sex toys for every gal (and guy, if you like that sort of thing).

Since batteries die quite quickly thanks to the vibrator, and you don't want to use the batteries from the fire detector lest you leave the candles burning all night, makers of the vibrating mate have gotten swift to the idea and created great alternatives.

Now before you even think of operating this machinery, I suggest that you watch her satisfy herself with it a few times in order to understand where, how, and for how long she likes it. After all, no one knows how to please you more than you know how to please yourself.

Acuvibe Massager
This firm, rubber piece of artillery can be plugged into the wall or can be recharged in eight hours. And even better, it has two-speed vibrations so that if fast isn't fast enough, you can give her a real bang for your buck.

Eroscillator
Believe it or not, Dr. Ruth herself endorsed this product. It doesn't require batteries, is waterproof, and comes with four attachable accessories for the vagina, clitoris, nipples, and penis. And best of all, it's silent, so you can hear her answer when asking, "Are you ready to greet my meat now?" (That was a joke, use this lyric at your own personal risk.)

Ultimate Rechargeable Vibrator
With three interchangeable attachments, a rechargeable portable shaft, and multi-speed settings, you can surely get your gal to hit the "multiple" zone in no time flat. And if you like, you can drink up her juice to quench your thirst.

Dildo, dildo, it's off to work we go
Mostly, dildos resemble men's penises, but sometimes they come in different colors and with way-too-weird gadget-like guises. If you left the strange ones lying around the house, people might think they were power tools -- okay, they'd know right away that you were dilling-the-doe with your woman.

Natural 6-Inch
A realistic-looking, flexible, vinyl, rubber dildo (complete with "veins" and all) that you can use on your woman to help her attain orgasm after you've already reached yours, or simply to watch the anxious look on her face close up whilst she climaxes.

Also available in Natural 7-Inch (thick) and Natural 8-Inch, for those in search of something a little, umm, better endowed.

Jeff Stryker Realistic
Made of soft rubber and molded from a real male model's penis (now isn't that the ultimate flattery?), this dildo comes with a suction cup for better handling and because it's curved, it'll tap on all those spots that you like hitting so much. This one even features realistic testicles that move when you squeeze them... sorry, when she squeezes them, cowboy.

Pleasure Probes
Now this one is designed for women who like to have their anuses and vaginas stimulated simultaneously. It can be easily adjusted for better comfort and versatility. And if you're a star (and I know you are), you can use your other hand to stimulate her clitoris, and ensure that she'll be chasing waterfalls all night.

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